Gender biases are not new to anyone who interacts with the world. But these biases can sometimes be irritating when you hear some of the weird personal questions women get asked and men are never asked.
Do you Plan on Having Children
Women are constantly being harangued with whether they want to have children or not because there is an unspoken belief that every woman must want children.
When Are you Getting Married?
The social construct that women need to get married early to avoid entering menopause before they have children makes random people ask women when they want to get married. It can be intrusive and annoying; but people still do it.
Why Are you Gaining Weight?
The beauty standards for women change based on who is asking and the context of their question. Some ask why you’re gaining weight because they assume you’re sick or pregnant. Others ask the weight question to gauge your ‘femininity’.
Why Do You Like Wearing Makeup?
As fickle as beauty standards are for women, they’re still heckled down with looking natural or wearing makeup. Depending on the person asking the question, a woman wearing makeup could be either a good or bad thing.
How Do You Balance Work and Family?
This age-old question, although frowned upon by many women, is still being asked to successful career and business women. It’s as though the job of taking care of the ‘family’ rests solely with the women. And if they’re unable to find the right balance, then they’re not ‘womanly’ enough.
Why Did you Choose This Career?
On the surface, this should not be a big deal, but people ask women these questions because of the gender dichotomy that exists around certain careers. Some believe that highly technical careers, and those that require long hours of commitment are not ‘female’ jobs. Sometimes, the questions reek of “how are you smart enough to be in this career?”
Why Are You So Emotional?
The belief that emotionality is the opposite of rationality, and that somehow emotionality is weakness, and weakness is associated with femininity makes the question irritating. Asking a woman why she’s emotional is a subtle way of invalidating her opinion, suggestion or response to a situation.
Can You Handle That Much Pressure?
Misogynistic thinking makes people believe that women crack under pressure, therefore it’s irrational to entrust a woman with high-pressure work. Asking women if they can handle that much pressure smacks of undermining their ability to do what needs to be done .
Do You Think That Outfit is Appropriate?
While there are occasion-appropriate outfits, people ask women this question because of the moral policing women have to deal with on a constant basis.
Why Are You Going to the Gym, You’re Not Fat?
There is a common belief that working out is only for men, and that women who workout are either plus sized women who want to lose fat or women who’re bored with their lives.
Are You Seeing Anyone?
Women are asked this question frequently because of the erroneous, and sometimes crazy belief, that a single woman is less of a woman than one in a relationship. Women mustn’t be in relationships to be whole; they’re whole in and of themselves.
Do You Feel Guilty About Working and Not Being With Your Kids?
While this is an honest question to ask…sometimes, it is often asked with sentiment. And the sentiment is that a woman who isn’t with their children should be uncomfortable, and thus rush home to be with the children. It’s as though we give women only just about enough permission to be who they want to be but take it back when they try to be more.
What is It Like to Be a Woman in Your Field?
Career women are often asked this type of question from journalists because some believe a woman thriving in a ‘male dominated’ is rare, and therefore warrants constant prodding.
Don’t You Think You Are Getting Too Old for…?
Oftentimes, the ‘getting too old for’ question is asked when women either express their career and business ambitions, or openly talk about their sexual and relationship desires. Women of a certain age, the belief holds, should not be too ambitious in relationships, whether romantic or platonic, and in business.
How Old Are You?
Women get asked their age most times as a way to measure whether or not they should have been married or not. The question is also used to gauge how the other person, usually a man, would interact with the woman. The question most times screams ageism.
Are You Sure You Can Play Video Games?
It is ‘un feminine’, some people believe, for a woman to love and know how to play video games.
Do You Think Your Body is Back to Normal After Having a Child?
After a woman gives birth, their body changes. They gain weight, and sometimes it’s difficult to lose that weight. However, asking women if they think their bodies are back to normal is placing too much pressure on women. Women should be allowed to recuperate when they can.
Why Do You Share So Much on Social Media?
Overly sharing on social media is seen as non-feminine because women are supposed to be seen and not heard. Therefore, sharing on social media is frowned upon for women because it is against ‘traits of a traditional woman’. Women, like men, have a right to be as expressive as they want on social media.
Isn’t It Dangerous for Women to Travel Alone?
When women travel alone, it is perceived that they’re either not strong enough to protect themselves, or they’re unable to provide for themselves financially. Asking women if it’s dangerous for them to travel alone places the responsibility of their safety solely on them when they aren’t usually at fault.
Why Do You Spend So Much Time Getting Ready?
Women spending time getting ready should not be a question because they have to look good. While some believe women should put a time frame when they’re getting ready, it still doesn’t mean there should be a time cap for women to get ready.
Would You Be Taking Your Husband’s Name?
For all the progress the world has achieved with equality, it still feels like women always have to be answerable to people’s “questions”. A woman’s choice on what name to take after her marriage should never be a topic for discussion, or a question to be asked. Whatever name she decides to use, it is her choice. And so long she is happy with her husband, the question should never be asked.
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