1984’s Film Fiascos: 16 Films So Dreadful They’re Almost Delightful

Alex Brown

In the wacky realm of ’80s cinema, 1984 was a goldmine of cinematic train wrecks. From cringe-worthy dialogue to absurdly bad special effects, these 16 films redefine the term “so bad, it’s good.” Buckle up for a wild ride through the hilariously awful world of ’84’s worst flicks.

Best Defense

Photo Credit: Eddie Murphy Productions.

With both Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore, both couldn’t rescue this dud of a comedy. Eddie admitted on Letterman how bad “Best Defense” was. The story is nonsense and the acting is dreadful. It would be in your best defense to avoid this turkey.

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle

Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures.

Sheena’s parents are killed while I. safari and so she is brought up in the jungle by a witch. Many see similarities to the Tarzan movies but with a female lead. The plot isn’t great and the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Hang this trash out on a vine.

Supergirl

Photo Credit: Pueblo Film AG Productions.

A movie in which everyone is miscast. The dialog is labored and there is little action to keep you invested in this film. Helen Slater’s acting is stiff as cardboard. “Supergirl” had the chance to be a good movie, but the opportunity was missed and you end up with something that is, according to a reviewer, “as fun as a root canal”

Rhinestone

Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox.

A cab driver takes on a bet to become a music sensation within two weeks. Sylvester Stallone is the cab driver and, yes, he sings in this film. That’s just one of the worst things about “Rhinestone”. The humor is superficial. Dolly Parton does well in this movie, yet the musical numbers leave a lot to be desired.

Cannonball Run II

Photo Credit: Golden Harvest.

Don’t expect anything new from “Cannonball Run II” because there is any. It shamelessly copies every that worked from the first film. Unfortunately, nothing works in this sequel. The star lineup of Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, and Jackie Chan is underutilized. There is no cohesion in the storyline, as you are left jumping about from one race team to another. As for the race, if you enjoy watching animated cars on a map rather than real-life footage, this is for you.

City Heat

Photo Credit: The Malpaso Company.

Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood team up in this cop comedy. Yet the banter between the two comes across as forced. That equates to: not funny. The one-liners and wit constantly fall flat. The action scenes are pedestrian. Heed the advice of one online viewer who suggests “Skip this one, not as good as you would think.”

Devil Fish

Photo Credit: Filmes Cinematografica.

This movie is also known as “Monster Shark” or “Jaws Attack 2”. It’s a blatant rip-off from “Jaws” in which a sea creature is devouring people off a coast in South Florida. The special effects are abysmal and the sea monster is just some rubber thing that you can tell is fake. Also, it’s easy to see that the underwater scenes are miniature models. The cast struggles to deliver their lines with any sense of normalcy.

The Dungeonmaster

Photo Credit: Charles Band Production.

You might find this listed as “Ragewar”. The plot involves an evil sorcerer challenging a computer programmer in a battle between technology and sorcery. At stake is the programmer’s girlfriend. There are 7 directors involved, so that should be a red flag. The plot gets convoluted and you end up watching a mess of a film. Even the special effects fail to create a fantasy world atmosphere. On top of that there is a repetitive structure that runs throughout the movie: solve a challenge or win a bath or then move on to the next one. That gets tedious after a while. “Nothing could have saved it [this movie] well maybe a good fire in the editing room” comments an individual who had the unfortunate pleasure of watching this trash.

Unfaithfully Yours

Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox.

A composer plans to kill his cheating wife and frame it on her lover. The storyline is fine if executed well. Something “Unfaithfully Yours” fails at. The tone of the movie switches from dark humor to slapstick comedy but doesn’t deliver either with much charm. Dudley Moore carries the film but is let down by weak supporting actors. It’s a movie that drags on for an hour before anything really happens.

Harry and Son

Photo Credit: Orion Pictures.

“Harry and Son” tries to address the themes of grief, family dynamics, and economic hardship. However, its approach to these comes across as heavy-handed and lacking subtlety. Paul Newman co-wrote, directed, and cast himself in this movie. Also, he managed to get Robby Benson to star as his son. But, despite such big names on the bill, the performances are underwhelming and lack depth. Without having a spoiler alert, the resolution at the end is predictable.

Oxford Blues

Photo Credit: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

A guy enrolls at Oxford University to pursue a girl he is smitten with. The plot is uninspiring. Rob Lowe, who has so much charm and charisma, lacks both in this film. For Oxford purists, the movie’s portrayal of university life there is full of inaccuracies. Conflicts that happen between the characters come across as contrived rather than arising naturally. One viewer says that this flick “felt like a cheaply produced effort.”

C.H.U.D.

Photo Credit: New World Pictures.

A horror that had a great idea for a story, but missed the chance. A bunch of creatures live in the sewers under New York City and kill people. The makeup effects of the creatures are weak and don’t invoke a feeling of terror. You don’t see many C.H.U.D.s throughout the film. What’s the overall take on this disaster? It’s dull and not scary. Two things that a horror flick shouldn’t be.

Give My Regards to Broad Street

Photo Credit: MPL Communications.

Paul McCartney stars in this fictionalized account of his life. He has 24 hours to recover stolen master tapes for his new album. The entire movie feels contrived and a flimsy excuse to string together some of his music rather than offer a compelling narrative. It comes across as a travelogue of London as you are taken around different parts of the city. One fan of McCartney says that this film is “100 minutes or so of absolute tedium which should have stayed as a home video.”

The Night They Saved Christmas

Photo Credit: RHI Entertainment.

Santa and Christmas need to be saved from an evil oil drilling company operation in the North Pole. The dialogue is bad and the special effects are even worse (for an 80s flick). One can’t blame the actors for this junk as they had a thin and weak script to work with. “The Night They Saved Christmas” is a holiday movie that was made for TV yet doesn’t deliver the “goods” for a Christmas film.

The Woman In Red

Photo Credit: Orion Pictures.

A married guy becomes infatuated with a lady he spotted who was wearing red. A thin plot that lacks depth. The humor relies on slapstick comedy and sexual innuendo, but these produce few genuine moments in the movie. Kelly LeBrock acts more like a robot than a model. “Comedy? Not even close” says one reviewer.

Flashpoint

Photo Credit: HBO Pictures.

A couple of Texas border patrol agents come across a jeep that contains a drug cartel’s fortune. A premise that has the makings of a great crime action-drama film. “Flashpoint” starts off okay but then descends into confusion. The dialog is sappy while Kris Kristofferson and Treat Williams give subpar performances. There are pacing issues throughout the movie as you endure long stretches of boring and uneventful scenes. The climactic scene is predictable, as are a lot of other bits of “Flashpoint”. A movie that has limited entertainment value.

18 Film Openings So Stunning, You Won’t Blink

Image Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

Sometimes, the best part of a movie isn’t the ending but how it all starts. The opening scene sets the tone, captures our attention, and teases what’s coming next. Here’s a look at some of the best curtain-raisers the film world has to offer. 18 Film Openings So Stunning, You Won’t Blink.

18 Hollywood Remakes We Didn’t Need – But We Got Anyway

Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures.

When it comes to Hollywood, nothing is sacred. The promise of a familiar title can be a cash cow for producers, leading to remakes of classic films that no one was really asking for. Some of these remakes can offer a fresh and inventive take on the original, but others…well, let’s just say they leave us scratching our heads. Here are 18 of the most unnecessary remakes in Hollywood history, in no particular order. 18 Hollywood Remakes We Didn’t Need – But We Got Anyway

Bombed, then Beloved -18 Films That Flipped from Box Office Blunders to Cult Hits

Photo Credit: Castle Rock Entertainment.

These films were misunderstood in their time but have since risen like phoenixes to claim their place in the hearts of movie enthusiasts. So sit back and enjoy this list of underdog films that defied expectations and became legendary! Bombed, then Beloved -18 Films That Flipped from Box Office Blunders to Cult Hits.

Alex Brown
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