1977 was a year of disco fever, iconic fashion, and…terrible movies. Join us on a groan-inducing journey as we revisit the celluloid catastrophes of ‘77. Brace yourself for a cinematic rollercoaster.
Starship Invasions
A film with a title like that from the 70s screams out B-grade. Yep, that’s exactly what this movie is. The special effects and costumes are laughable. In its attempt to tackle the topics of UFOS and government coverups, this movie misses the mark. Avoid at all costs!!
Exorcist II: The Heretic
“The Exorcist” still holds its place as the scariest horror film ever made. This sequel fails to capture the same horror and intensity as the original movie. The storyline and subplots meander all over the place and leave you wondering what is going on. Then there are the bizarre psychedelic sequences that have you wondering if you are watching a horror movie or taking some fantastic psychedelic trip. Far out, man.
The Van
A story about a guy who buys a van to attract women. Enough said, right? The sexist and crude jokes make you cringe and reach for the “Off” button on your remote. If you want another reason as to why this movie is so terrible, then let’s talk about the acting: It’s unemotional and tedious. Also, the main character is someone we should be cheering for but he comes across as creepy.
Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure
An animated musical in which the adventure leads…nowhere. It’s a directionless story. For a musical, the songs aren’t great and you’ll find it hard to remember any of them after the movie is over. The animation of Raggedy Ann doesn’t do her any favors. She looks a bit dark and creepy…
For the Love of Benji
Benji gets caught up in a kidnapping plot. The story seems simple but the delivery of it sucked. The movie seems unsure as to what it’s about. When a dog has more acting talent than the rest of the cast, it’s gotta tell you something…
A Piece of the Action
Perhaps this should have been titled “A Piece of Trash” because that’s how bad it is. The two main stars, Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby (yes, THAT Bill Cosby) struggle to convey any onscreen chemistry. The movie is predictable, so that sucks any fun out of it. It also doesn’t shine a favorable light on African Americans. Let’s break the stereotype!
Return to Boggy Creek
This adventure movie has one of the worst monster special effects of any film. Yep, that’s how cheap and nasty this is. If you want to bore yourself senseless watch this. The acting will have you slipping away in no time…
Breaker! Breaker!
This has Chuck Norris! Enough said! He is a trucker who goes into the backwoods to look for his brother who has disappeared. There is a lot of slow-motion fighting and very little story development. Watch this just for the martial arts. It pads out the whole movie.
You Light up My Life
A young lady tries to make it as a singer in New York. What makes this a clanger of a film is the melodramatic, forced acting. You also have scenes that drag on, so you endure them patiently (or not). It’s a film that failed to light up a lot of lives in 1977.
Islands in the Stream
Based on an Ernest Hemingway novel, this movie does nothing to honor the source material. Clipping together a bunch of vignettes ruins the flow of this film. You have characters that are cold and shallow, so you don’t give two hoots about them. A travesty of a movie!
Empire of the Ants
A con artist tries to sell fake real estate in a place that has an ant infestation. A great idea if you have neighbors you wish would move to somewhere “nicer”. Yet, the premise is just beyond any sense of realism and so is much of what else occurs in this film. The ants are bad, the plot is bad, and the acting is bad. Watch it if you want, but you might get a bit…antsy.
The Cassandra Crossing
This movie had the ingredients to make it amazing. Big-name stars such as Sophia Loren and Richard Burton and a plot with potential: a deadly virus on a train and the subsequent quarantine. Yet despite all that it had going for it, this film is a disappointment. The acting is unenergetic and there is no real thrill or suspense. You can cross The Cassandra Crossing off your “must-watch” list.
Heroes
You’ll be a hero if you make it through this pile of junk. There is so much cliche about this movie that you will wonder if the writers and director decided to copy other movies about the Vietnam War. There’s no comedy, no romance, and not much of anything. So you’ll be left wondering “What trash did I just watch and why?”
Evil Town
As a horror flick, this doesn’t deliver much horror or scares. It relies on the ideas of other horror films as well as cliches. There is nothing memorable about Evil Town other than the amount of time you wasted watching it. That’s a scary thought.
Equus
If you are ever going to make a movie that is copied from a play, don’t make it a carbon copy. Equus tries to do this and fails miserably with overly long dialogue and monologues that will have you groaning in frustration. Richard Burton seems to be only going through the motions, which is disappointing as he has so much talent. Equus equates to a film that should not have been made.
Candleshoe
What do you get with a young Jodie Foster and Helen Hayes overacting? The answer: an awful movie. The storyline is run-of-the-mill and forgettable. A young kid and a con man try to find pirate treasure stashed in an English manor. It’s a predictable film, and those are a bit of a yawn-fest.
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