Guys do a lot of things, assuming that women find those things attractive, but usually, this isn’t the case at all. Read on to discover some of these things that men do that women, surprisingly, just aren’t into.
The Macho Persona
Guys have gotten it into their heads that they appear more manly and attractive to women when they show how tough they are. However, the reverse is the case. This is because, for most women, men who refuse to show vulnerability are a walking red flag. No one is saying you should be overly emotional; however, at the same time, you can’t perpetually put on a tough guy persona. Many women appreciate emotional openness and authenticity.
Heavy Cologne Use
It’s always a great idea to have a cologne or spray that you use regularly; after all, nothing turns off a woman like the scent of body odor. However, like in all things, there has to be a balance. You may think that dousing yourself in cologne helps you achieve an attractive “manly scent,” but to the ladies who have to put up with this, it’s more of an irritating smell. This is because women prefer a more subtle scent or something more natural.
Being a “Bad Boy”
Hollywood movies are full of depictions of the hot girl helplessly falling for the bad boy, and because of this, many guys have taken “being the bad guy” as a sure way of attracting ladies. While some ladies love the bad boys, lots of them are not. So, if you think being a bad boy is a surefire way to win your crush over, you might just be in for a rude awakening.
Backhanded Complements
In many “How to be a Man” seminars, people portray giving backhanded compliments as a way to keep a woman interested in you. They teach that when you do this often enough, your woman of interest will become desperate for your approval. Now, aside from this being a thoroughly disgusting form of emotional manipulation, it actually doesn’t work all that often. In fact, if you do this, you’re more likely to alienate than attract her.
Pickup Lines
Pickup lines are a great way to introduce yourself to a woman you’re just meeting… when it’s done right. But more often than not, guys using this strategy crash and burn simply because they don’t have what it takes to pull it off. Pickup lines have to be delivered with a certain sense of humor and charm, and when this is missing, they’ll always sound off. Oh, and that risky, insulting pickup line you planned on using? Yeah, don’t. It really won’t end well. The reason is simple: no one likes being insulted.
Patronizing Chivalry
Chivalry isn’t dead… it’s merely evolved. Many women appreciate acts of kindness; however, most men often take it to the extreme. In their bid to sweep ladies off their feet, men usually come in with exaggerated acts of kindness. Now, you may think you’re being charming, but to the woman you’re talking to, you might come off as patronizing. The idea of chivalry isn’t to treat women as if they’re helpless but to show respect and courtesy. Women value their independence and competence and prefer partners who respect that rather than those who perform grandiose gestures under the guise of “being a gentleman.”
Flashy Displays
Some men believe that ostentatious displays of wealth or status—like driving a high-end car or flaunting expensive gadgets—will attract women. However, many women find this superficial and off-putting. They’re usually more interested in genuine connections and can often see through these flashy facades, which can come across as trying too hard.
Jealousy
Every relationship needs that little spice of jealousy to keep things interesting, but when it’s becoming excessive, it’s unattractive. How do you know if you’re being overly jealous? Simple: if you act possessively, demand constant check-ins, or try to dictate who your potential partner can interact with, you are doing too much. Many women find confidence and trust more appealing than insecurity, manifesting as jealousy.
Poor Grooming
Ideally, this shouldn’t even be a surprise, but many men still believe that crafting an “all-natural look” is the way to go. Unfortunately, their concept of looking natural doesn’t include personal hygiene and grooming. Now, no one is expected to look perfect all the time, but consistent poor grooming is not appealing. Bad breath, unkempt hair, dirty nails, or generally sloppy attire can be deal-breakers for many women.
Inappropriate Talk
Conversations that are overly sexual, full of inappropriate jokes, or disrespectful comments are not attractive to most women. Men who engage in this type of talk, especially in the initial stages of getting to know someone, are likely to push women away. Good communication respects boundaries and is considerate of comfort levels.
Unsolicited Advice
Some men have the habit of giving unsolicited advice, believing they’re solving problems, but this can be very condescending. Women, like everyone else, appreciate empathy and understanding. They prefer to discuss as equals and make decisions about their issues without unwarranted interference.
So guys, here’s a tip: That she’s telling you of her problems and challenges doesn’t mean she’s permitting you to give advice. Your job is simple: listen and be supportive.
Ignoring Boundaries
Disregarding personal space, not respecting privacy, or overstepping physical/mental boundaries is a definite no. Women value men who pay attention to their comfort zones and ask for consent. Ignoring these boundaries is not just unattractive; it can be threatening, signaling a lack of respect and understanding.
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