Self-obsession is often characterized by a person’s excessive preoccupation with themselves, their appearance, and their opinions. It can manifest in various ways, including vanity, egotism, and a need for constant attention. While a certain degree of self-love is healthy, excessive self-obsession can lead to problems in relationships, at work, and in overall well-being.
They Never Take Responsibility
Accountability and narcissism don’t mix, much like oil and water. Response recommendation: Save time by encouraging them to accept responsibility for their errors.
They Control the Discussion
Experts at swapping places. Before you know it, discussing their actions has shifted to discussing your mistakes. Response recommendation: Don’t allow them to divert your attention from the primary idea; remain concentrated.
They Enjoy Hearing Their Voice
Narcissists are infamous for enjoying listening to themselves speak. A filibuster would have nothing on them. They feel that everyone else lives in their TED Talk and that the world is theirs. Advice: Give a nod, smile, and let them continue. Next, gently nudge the discussion toward more significant common ground.
They Don’t Respect Boundaries
Respect boundaries as lovely little ideas rather than as laws to be followed. Remind them that limits are unachievable and respond with firmness.
They Pretend to Be the Victim
If all else fails, a narcissist will not hesitate to play the pity card—but only if it comes with a lot of gold. Response suggestions: Remain impartial and resist the urge to become engrossed in their drama.
They Take Center Stage in Everything
Has the phrase “me, myself, and I” ever occurred to you? Narcissists, that is, wrote the book on it. Even if you bring up climate change, they will turn the conversation to their summer vacation. Redirect the debate towards a broader viewpoint as a helpful response strategy.
They’re Not Empathic
They put themselves in other people’s shoes if they are expensive, designer shoes. Response advice: Don’t count on them to sympathize with or validate your emotions. Speaking to a brick wall would be a better idea.
They Have An Amazing Charm
They may have the beauty of a Disney prince, but remember that an apple may deceive even Snow White. Advice: Remain grounded and keep in mind that deeds speak louder than words.
They Crave for Attention
Like a plant needs sunlight, they require continuous affirmation and praise. The narcissist’s sunlight, however, is your undivided attention. Advice: Don’t fuel their ego. Be sincere and modest in your compliments.
They Get Angry Easily
Narcissists can go from endearing to horrifying faster than you can say “Jekyll and Hyde” if you don’t follow their rules. Once the discussion doesn’t revolve around them, or you seem to have an upper lead, they may get angry and say harsh things to scare you and probably “put you in your place.”
Advice: Even when they’re not, try to maintain your composure and logic. If they become outraged, tell them you no longer wish to have this discussion as you feel it’s getting out of hand.
They Gaslight
They are experts at manipulating reality to suit their story. They will do anything to make their story dance to their tune. They can make you say and think things you have no idea of. You can begin to question your memory as a result of them.
Advice: Be vigilant and follow your gut feelings. Don’t let them get into your head, and if they try so much, tell them you don’t feel comfortable with how manipulative they are with words. If they persist, politely ask to end the discussion.
Making Fun of the Success of Others
They consider any achievement that isn’t theirs to be unimportant. Even if you tell them how well you are doing yourself, they will often make it look like you are still at the bottom rung of the ladder. In certain situations where someone else’s success seems to overshadow theirs, they might either resolve to false humility or feign ignorance.
If you are conversing with this type of individual, you can say, “Actually, I’m quite proud of what I’ve achieved,” with composure. This statement might catch them off-guard, and they will likely lose their line of thought for a while. All the time, you keep a light smile on your lips.
They Always Get the Final Say
The last person to speak wins. Until the cows come home or you give up, they will continue to argue their position. They always want to win even if the argument is clearly against them. They will still try to hold their ground to the displeasure of their audience.
Advice: Refrain from getting sucked into a never-ending debate. The wisest response is sometimes to remain silent. Keeping quiet does not mean you lose. It simply means you are not letting them control you and your words. You are subtly showing them who’s boss.
Overstating Their Achievements
They inflate their accomplishments to feel better about themselves. They can tell you stories of how much they have in their accounts, how much property they own, their latest substantial business deals, their brand endorsement, etc. They do not mind if you feel uncomfortable in the discussion; if you pay attention to what they’re saying, they will keep talking. To maintain balance in the debate, one could say something neutral like, “Wow, that’s quite a claim.”
Taking Pride in Their Associations
They enjoy using others’ names to elevate themselves. They often splash around big names just to let you know that they belong or are worth something. If you are not careful, you might be tempted to want to be like them, but the reality is that most of their statement isn’t true. If you are caught in such a situation, say something like, “Oh, I’ve never heard of them,” to defuse it.
Looking for Approvals
Narcissists need to be validated all the time. The most annoying thing about this behavior is that they don’t wait for it; instead, they subtly demand it. If you are not careful, they can emotionally manipulate you to be their cheerleader all the time. This can be very exhausting, primarily if you depend on them emotionally. Rather than satisfying their need, change the subject or offer unbiased criticism.
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